her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
