Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
