What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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