Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Randomize
