I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
