you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
