What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Randomize
