I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
