She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
We have started to decorate penises.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
