It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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