I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
