i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
