this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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