First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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