I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
