i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Randomize
