should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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