I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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