I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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