why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
