was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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