He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Randomize
