seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Randomize
