so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
