we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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