he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize
