Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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