Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
