we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
