jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
