You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
