dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Well I just put wine in my tea
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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