real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
