Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
