i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
