It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
