I hate all girls vehemently.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
