i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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