I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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