So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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