I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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