Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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