Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Randomize
