Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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