So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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