Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Randomize
