so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
