I can't watch pbs sober anymore
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I want her autograph on my taint
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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