the new term for farting is butt boxing.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Randomize
