Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
